If one were to drive in Lincoln, RI one would never know there was a casino in their midst. It's as if the townfolks were ashamed of the place. After having spent several hours there I can see why. It is one of the most depressing places I have ever walked into. Never have I seen so many walkers, oxygen tanks, wheelchairs and canes assembled in one place. Throw in cigarette smoke and the blank looks of people playing the slot machines and you have arrived at the death of hope. I suspect that similar conditions prevail at a Trump rally (after all it was inside a casino).
Sadly, entertainment is a secondary consideration at the Twin River Casino. The Event Center (as it is called) is buried way in the rear of the facility and is a glorified banquet hall. The chairs were smushed together in such a way that I prayed that my seatmate wouldn't exceed 300 pounds.
Needless to say, if it weren't for Don Rickles neither one of us would have conceived of going there. As it turned out, he was the best part of the whole evening. Indeed, he didn't want to be there anymore than Christopher and I did. "I would like nothing more than to go home right now," said Rickles.
At 90, Rickles is not in the best of health. A bout of flesh eating disease and spinal stenosis has weakened his voice and confined him to a chair. But his wit remains razor sharp. Let me put it this way. Both Christopher & I were grateful to be sitting way in the back. If you sit in the front row of a Rickles show you do so at your own peril.
In our age of political correctness and safe spaces, Rickles might be the last white comedian who can get away with ethnic humor directed at blacks. He can get away with it because a) he's genuinely funny b) he's been doing this for decades and c) perhaps above all else, he does so with a good heart. Donald Trump tries to be Don Rickles but lacks his heart. There's no malice with Rickles. Could Trump ever sing "I'm a Nice Guy"?
Perhaps the most interesting moment of the entire evening occurred when Rickles invited two gentlemen up on the stage. One of them was named Danny who is a lobbyist (which drews jeers from the audience) and Pat who is a comedian. When Pat told Rickles his last name is "McLoud", Rickles snapped, "Change it." Pat also walked into one when he said he wanted to open for Rickles who replied, "Not gonna happen." And by the looks of it this was as close as he was going to get.
The funniest bit of the evening was about how he still makes loves to his wife by pretending to be a Mississippi barge while she tells him, "Dock me!!! Dock me!!!"
In between schtick, there were video highlights of his career such as when he roasted President Reagan during his Second Inauguration, making a surprise appearance on The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson & Frank Sinatra as well as the Late Show with David Letterman on an unsuspecting Denzel Washington. There was also an extended video tribute to his friendship with Sinatra, the man instrumental in getting his career started more than half a century ago.
One particularly poignant moment was how he met James Cagney as a youngster wanting to make it in show business & did a spot-on Cagney impersonation.
Younger generations might not know Rickles' face but they will know his voice as Mr. Potato Head in the Toy Story movies. He revealed that he has just signed up to do Toy Story 4.
After a quick stop at Kentucky Fried Chicken (which I hadn't eaten in years), we couldn't get out of there fast enough.
Nevertheless, if Don Rickles comes to a casino near you by all means go see him. He lives to make you laugh. An opportunity like this might not come around again.
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