It was 20 years ago today that I left Canada, the country of my birth and residence for 27 1/2 years, for the United States. Eighteen and a half of those years were spent in Boston before abruptly moving to New York 18 months ago.
Had I written these reflections earlier in the month they would have been undoubtedly different. To some degree I do feel some disappointment over the past two decades. The man who drove me from Ottawa to Boston that day is now a provincial cabinet minister and might end up Premier one day. I, other on the hand, am a file clerk who lives with my Dad - forced to move to New York when I could not find a new roommate in Boston. I make a modest salary, have no wife or girlfriend let alone any children and the likelihood of that situation changing for the better is while not impossible remains nevertheless highly unlikely.
But we are now living in the midst of a pandemic which has changed life as we know it. Under these conditions, as of this writing, I am healthy and have gainful employment. My Dad is also healthy. Too many others aren't so fortunate. As such I cannot ask for more - at least for now.
Life a series of decisions big and small. In many respects, small decisions can have far bigger consequences than big decisions. On one on Monday morning almost seven years ago I took a train to Concord, Massachusetts to go to Minuteman Park instead of making my way to Boylston Street to watch the Boston Marathon. There but for fortune.
Had I remained in Canada chances are my life would be much the same as it is in terms of my social status. Of course, had I remained in Canada I might very well be slapping myself for not having taken the opportunity to move to the United States with the possibility of a better life. One can drive oneself crazy with such thoughts. As such it is best not to dwell on the what ifs at length. One can only deal with what is rather than what might have been.
Even if my life is no different than it would have been had I remained in Canada there would have been a different set of experiences for better or for worse. Had I remained in Canada I would not have been witness to the Boston Red Sox breaking their 86 year old World Series curse much less regularly attending games at Fenway Park while living within walking distance. Nor would I have known the joy of swimming in Walden Pond. There are people whom I never would have known most notably Christopher Kain who was my roommate in Boston for 10 years. I cannot imagine anyone else outside my family who would have put up with me for so long. There have also been plenty of people I wish I had never gazed upon and I am sure they feel the same way about me. But this is true no matter where one sets foot.
Then there's the political dimension. I moved to the United States having landed political work which alluded me in Canada. As it turned out my career as an organizer with ACORN lasted all of two weeks. My affiliation with The Left would end a year and half after my arrival in the U.S. with the 9/11 attacks. I could no longer affiliate with a political movement which blamed America and Israel for the world's ills and tolerating anti-Semitism while ignoring those who deploy terror in the name of Islamic radicalism. During this time conservatism made sense to me and my views made sense to others when I became a regular contributor to The American Spectator during the Obama years.
But then along came Donald Trump and the false idolatry of him. The very reason I began this blog was when I was informed by Bob Tyrrell that he was beyond criticism of any kind. I could no more be part of a Right which accepted Trump's lies as the Gospel Truth than I could be part of a Left which vilified American and Israel and mobilizes people through anti-Semitism while denying it is doing any such thing.
While I retain a conservative view of human nature, it is hard to take an ideology seriously when it can be purchased for pennies on the dollar by a faux billionaire. And while I also retain a socialist notion of a brotherhood of man, it is hard to take an ideology seriously which has adopted tribal identity politics which to paraphrase George Orwell renders some people more equal than others. My view of the world doesn't fit easily on the political spectrum. Occasionally my views make the pages of National Review Online but few give them much regard. By the same token, no one is entitled to my vote. It must be earned.
It is nearly impossible to know what the next 20 years will bring much less the rest of 2020 as COVID-19 runs its deadly course. Assuming I survive this pandemic how much longer will I have gainful employment? How long will I remain in NYC? Will I return to Boston? Will I see more of America outside the Northeast? Or will I perhaps return to Canada? Will I ever see Thunder Bay again? Will I make my way somewhere else altogether? Wherever I am or wherever I go will I manage to find the ground floor of something good and ascend to better things? Or will there be a perfect match around the corner? Could things get worse? Or will things be more or less the same regardless of where I am? The answers to those questions will come a day at a time.
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