Howie Mandel is Right: Being Told You Look Good for Your Age Isn't a Compliment

 

Howie Mandel, the longtime host of America's Got Talent is being chastised for "snapping" at Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos during an appearance on Live with Kelly and Mark earlier this week.

Mandel, who turned 70 last November, briefly took issue with Ripa and Consuelos for telling him that he looked great for 70. For her part, Ripa didn't say that although Consuelos confirmed that he thought Mandel look good for 70. The Canadian born comic added that he didn't like the "compliment" because "it's a caveat."

Having watched the exchange a couple of times I do think Mandel overreacted a little bit towards Ripa although it is clear they both struck a raw nerve even if it was not their intent to do so. However, I do think the coverage of their exchange has been blown out of proportion because the exchange last about 30 seconds before the interview got back on track.

So, you might ask, why I am weighing in on the matter?

Because it reminded me of when I took Dad to see Jerry Seinfeld at the Beacon Theatre for his 75th birthday. (Incidentally, Dad will be celebrating his 85th birthday next month.)

What I remember most vividly about the evening wasn't Seinfeld, but rather his opening act. Opening that night for Seinfeld was Mario Joyner who admittedly I had never heard of prior to the event. But I found him funnier than Seinfeld.

The part of Joyner's act which resonated with me most was a bit he did about being told you look good for your age. Joyner, who turns 65 in October, said that a proper compliment is "You look good. Period." Being told that you look good for your age is like telling a heavyset woman, "That dress fits you nice for someone your size."

As a fellow comedian, I'm sure Mandel is familiar with Joyner and his act. In his exchange with Ripa and Consuelo, Mandel said, "It's like saying you're smart for a stupid person."

So, I understand where Mandel is coming from in this situation. A compliment should be a compliment without qualification.

With that said, I do allow one exception. It concerns someone with whom I went to elementary school with more than four decades ago and reconnected with her a few years back on Facebook. I should add that she was born the day after me. So, we are both now 53. One day, I post a picture of myself at a restaurant with a friend. She sends me a reply which says, "You look good for our age."

That compliment I can accept because she is bringing herself into the conversation. Instead of "your age" it was "our age." I can't speak for either Howie Mandel or Mario Joyner on that particular context. For them, it might be a distinction without difference. But for me, it makes all the difference in the world.

In the grand scheme of things, when it comes to compliments less is more. Keep it simple, direct and to the point.