Scenes From an Iowa Caucus Watch Party in Midtown Manhattan

I spent Monday evening at an Iowa Caucus Watch Party at RPM Underground on West 54th Street between Broadway and 8th Avenue.

Back in July I had been turned away from this establishment during one of the first debates due to my backpack. This time there was no backpack. But there was also no security. So I got in without incident.

There were a myriad of rooms downstairs. Some were set aside for the candidates great and small. Others were set aside for undecided voters while others still were devoted to comedy and trivia. Here is how I spent my evening.

6:55 p.m.: Room 9 is for undecided voters. I was all alone. I decided to leave the room.

7:02 p.m.: The rooms for Joe Biden, Deval Patrick, Amy Klobuchar and Tom Steyer were empty. The same could not be said for Pete Buttigieg. I enter Room 14 and yet I am still alone. Again I leave the room.

7:09 p.m.: Room 16 is for undecided voters. Again I am alone. This room was decorated was Playboy magazines. I feared women might get the creep vibe if I entered the room. You guessed it. I left the room.

7:15 p.m.: I enter a larger room which will be devoted to comedy and trivia.

7:32 p.m.: I am interested in ordering Mayor Pete vegetarian dumplings. I check to see if the dumplings have dairy in them. The bartender asked at least four different people. But he kept asking until he got an answer. Unfortunately there was dairy. I had to settle for orange juice.

7:59 p.m.: Rachel Maddow interviews Amy Klobuchar. The image is blurred and fading. A sign of things to come.

8:10 p.m.: The comedy show begins. The comedians are almost entirely Bernie supporters. They are universally funny.

8:46 p.m.: I correctly answer that Joe Biden was first elected to the Senate in 1972. For this I was awarded a Fireball. I decline.

9:18 p.m.: I return to Buttigieg's room to give them a second chance. No dice.

9:26 p.m.: I return to Room 16. This time I meet a couple named Luigi and Shannon who have recently moved to NYC although Luigi was worked here for five years and used to commute from Connecticut. We are later joined by a fellow named Patrick from the Upper Peninsula of Michigan who has lived in NYC for the past five years.

In the six plus months that I've been attending these debates this is the most prolonged conversation I've had with anyone. Never mind six months. Try the 16 plus months I've been in NYC. It might be among the two best hours I've spent in the city. Even if I never cross paths with them again it was a positive experience that will keep me coming back for more.

11:30 p.m.: Patrick stays behind with an older fellow named Mike while I leave the premises with Luigi and Shannon before going our separate ways. Had I not met these people I'd have been gone by 10 p.m.

We leave the establishment without a single result being released.

1:05 a.m.: Back at home. Still no results much less a winner. The only winner tonight might be Donald Trump. So this is what democracy looks like.