When Harry Met Sally Could Actually Be Called When Rob Met Michele

On Friday, I went to the Brattle Theatre to take in a special matinee screening of When Harry Met Sally in memory of Rob Reiner.

For reasons I cannot explain at the moment, going to this matinee was a godsend. Aside from paying my respects to Rob Reiner, this was something I needed at that hour.

I recall seeing When Harry Met Sally when it was originally released in the summer of 1989 although I cannot be sure if I saw it in Thunder Bay or in Ottawa which I visited that August to celebrate my maternal grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary. I do remember seeing Uncle Buck on that trip. 

Of course, I have seen When Harry Met Sally on TV numerous times over the past 36 years. Billy Crystal was at the height of his powers while Meg Ryan served as a perfect counterpoint. Both Bruno Kirby and Carrie Fisher balanced the burgeoning friendship/romance between Harry and Sally. In between this drama, there were the charming vignettes of old couples telling the story of how they met and how long they had been married. 

And yes, there's the orgasm scene complete with Rob Reiner's mother quipping, "I'll have what she's having."

In many ways, When Harry Met Sally could have been titled When Rob Met Michele. During the making of When Harry Met Sally, Rob Reiner met Michele Singer, a photographer who had shot the cover of Donald Trump's ghostwritten book The Art of the Deal. In a 2018 interview with Reiner with then Guardian columnist Hadley Freeman, their meeting and what would come of it was described as follows:

(Nora) Ephron later said she based the character of Harry – the miserable, divorced Jewish romantic lead – on Reiner, who was at the time divorced after his marriage to Penny Marshall ended. During pre-production of the movie, he spotted a copy of Premiere magazine with Michelle Pfeiffer on the cover. “I’d met her a few months before, she seemed like a nice person, and I read she was getting divorced, so I said to Barry Sonnenfeld [When Harry Met Sally …’s director of photography], ‘I’m going to give her a call.’” (This is the only time during our lunch where Reiner’s privilege shines through: only someone who has truly led a gilded life would conduct their dating life via the covers of Premiere magazine, and think it sounds totally normal to say so.) Sonnenfeld nixed that: “You’re not going to call her, you’re going to marry my friend Michele Singer,” he declared.

Reiner wasn’t convinced, but three-quarters of the way through the film shoot he spotted a “very attractive woman” on the set who turned out to be Singer. They have now been married for almost 30 years and have three “really great” kids. Meeting Singer convinced Reiner to hastily change the ending of the film. “Originally, Harry and Sally didn’t get together. But then I met Michele and I thought: OK, I see how this works,” he grins.

These two paragraphs are prophetic, joyful and tragic. Prophetic in that Barry Sonnenfeld knew they would be a match. Joyful in that once Rob had met Michele, a happy ending for When Harry Met Sally made sense and life would imitate art - or so it seemed. The tragedy here is that one of the kids didn't turn out to be so great.

Nevertheless, Rob Reiner and Michele Singer Reiner had and held each other for than 30 years in sickness and in health until death did them part. While their lives did not have the happy ending that Harry and Sally had, it does not remove the joy they shared. Their lives were better for having come to know and love each other.